Speaking truth to power can (and often does) get one killed. Literally in some cases and metaphorically in other cases…both has the effect of silencing dissent and thus blocking essential information that the system needs to thrive. Suppressing (or closing ears to) feedback about the effect and results of the behavior of those with decision making power in a system is detrimental to the well being of the whole. So, in a real sense, murdering/silencing the dissenting voices of truth or minority perspectives is ultimately suicide for the system as a whole.
As a brilliant thinker and writer (and my mentor), Joanna Macy said: “For any system that consistently suppresses feedback–closing its perceptions to the results of its behavior–is suicidal.”
So what is the alternative?
- Learn the skill of hearing and taking in the important aspects of feedback (the concrete observations of the behavior that the other person(s) are referencing and the needs not met) without getting defensive, without dismissing or minimizing and without blaming self or other. This is difficult to do at the emotional level but very doable and learnable how to do. The conceptual part is the easy part of course but it does help to have the clarity of how to do it step by step to guide us as we navigate the emotional challenge of hearing feedback. This is especially true since most people, especially when they are in pain (as those with less power in a situation who are impacted by systems of oppression are very likely to be in) only know how to give feedback in the form of judgements and often confuse the motivations for giving feedback as well.
- So that brings us to the other side of the equation – which is learning how to give feedback in a way that gives the needed information (clear observations of the event or the behavior and needs not met) instead of giving our judgments and evaluations. It also helps if we are clear what our motivation is for sharing… is it in order give information for other person to be able to have clarity of whats not working for us or is it because we are needing to vent our frustration and pain (need to be heard or for empathy) which we can get met in other ways than to tell it in context of giving feedback.
The good news is that all of this is learnable and with practice and by setting up systems to support individuals to give and receive feedback effectively, a group (whether its a team in an organization or a community group) we can create a culture of welcoming dissent and feedback as the gift that it is and have it support us in building resilient systems (in this case teams or community) that are responsive to the environment in which it operates.